What I've learned from Facebook

Yea, I’m obsessed with Facebook. Don’t judge, you know you are too.

I’ve learned…

1. That you don’t have to actually be friends with someone to be their friend. That dude that never spoke to me during all of high school? Yea, we’re totally friends. Same goes for that one girl who saw me on campus. We’re like Facebook besties.

2. That every time Facebook changes their layout all my friends get crazy psycho and start updating like crazy. This just confuses me more, therefore it takes me like an extra week to know what’s going on. Please stop, friends. Just stop.

3. That whoever invented Farmville should be shot. Ditto for Mafia wars, Bakersville, Idon’tgiveashitville, etc.

4. That calling Facebook a social networking site is kind of a joke. We use it to stalk people.

5. That telling yourself you won’t keep checking that certain person’s profile isn’t good enough. Either delete them or get over them.

6. That poking was soooo two years ago.

7. That waiting to see if anybody commented on your status is like waiting for the results of a pregnancy test. Okay, maybe not that dramatic…but it’s close.

8. That if you missed last night’s show of (insert favorite popular show here) the worst thing to do is log onto Facebook the next morning. HELLO spoiler alert!

9. That being friends with your father means having to explain your life decisions on a regular basis.

10. That a lot of my friends can’t spell.

11. That half of my high school got engaged or married within the last year. And I can’t even get a date. Seriously?

12. That after a night of partying, it is super important to check Facebook the next morning and make sure all ridiculous photos are untagged. This must be done before commenting commences.

13. That Facebook status updates are basically just a contest to see who is the most clever of all your friends.

14. That a “dislike” button would be really helpful.

15. That Facebook is the best way to pimp yourself out. Hence why I post the link to this blog on mine 🙂

16. That when I think about life before Facebook, I get weirded out. But maybe that’s because life before Facebook was in high school, and well, high school was weird.

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One response to “What I've learned from Facebook

  1. True enough…how did all those people make it through high school (and college) without learning how to spell? I try to give them the benefit of the doubt by assuming they are typos, but I can only give them so much…

    and facebook is the ULTIMATE creeping tool. digital abuse, anyone?

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