What I've learned from NOT reading or watching Twilight

Are you dying laughing? I am. (source)

Sorry Twi-hards ( sidebar: y’all should think of a better name for yourselves) but I just can’t get myself to jump on this train. The only fantasy world train I’m on has a one-way ticket to Hogwarts. *Freaks out about Harry Potter*

Anywho, I’ve learned…

1. Little girls are crazy. When they grow up they are going to be so disappointed in life.

2. I, on the other hand, feel a little less crazy about being in love with Aladdin. Disney characters>glittery vampires, right?

3. That I don’t even have to watch the movies to know that I really don’t care for Kristen Stewart. The countless interviews do that for me. Dear K-Stew, stop acting like you’re life is so hard.

4. Robert Pattinson is fairly normal looking. However if I’m not mistaken he’s pasty, glittery and broody as Edward. And that’s attractive because….?

5. That you might not find the love of your life in Biology class in high school. And it certainly won’t happen after a 5-second staredown. And he won’t be a vampire. The latter I’m 100% sure about.

6. I’m not a pervert. Because I’m not 23 years old and in love with Taylor Lautner.

7. I can avoid Facebook the week the movies come out because all the “OMG TWILIGHT COMES OUT TONIGHT!!! I ❤ EDWARD” statuses do not contribute to my life thankyouverymuch.

8. Did I mention I don’t like Kristen Stewart. Yea, really don’t care for her.

9. Robert. Is. Bothered.

10. I’d prefer to watch this version of any day. Friggin Twilight.

11. Most importantly, I’ve learned that I DON’T need to read or watch Twilight. I still know all the little details from other people. Sigh, thanks guys.

12. I want to watch True Blood.


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