Reasons why I suck at Halloween:
1. I don’t do costumes. From the time I was a baby until about 13, I did the exact same thing every year for Halloween. I put on an Indian dress and called myself an Indian princess. Even better? My sweet mother use to make up characters for me to tell people who I “was” and accompanying stories to go with them. This was especially useful for when I was dressing up for school and we had to go around and say what we were.
Teacher: Oh Mansee, you look pretty! Tell everybody who you are!
Me: My costume is of an Indian princess named Madhuri. According to an Indian fairytale, she created the world.
Teacher: Well, isn’t that interesting!
P.S. Madhuri is the name of an actress and she most definitly did not create the world.
It was easier while trick or treating though, as I could just yell “Indian princess!!” and then run away when somebody asked.
2. I got a little burned out at a young age. Instead of everybody going trick or treating the same night (on Halloween) each subdivision would have its own day, so that meant we could go trick or treating multiple times every year. And since my parents are crazy (and the fact that they never had to spend any money on a costume for me), they actually let me get away with that. This caused two problems:
- I grew up in Ohio. It was cold. I always got sick in the beginning of November. Coincidence? Nope.
- The amount of candy was sick. Literally, just sick. Speaking of candy…
3. I love sugar-but not in candy form. But if I’m going to make myself ill off it, I want it to be beat with eggs and flour, poured into a pan, baked and covered in chocolate. In other words, I want a cake. Not a miniature Snickers.
4. I tried to be good at Halloween once. A couple of years ago I decided I wanted to be like a real college student with a real social life and went to a real Halloween party and wore a real costume (borrowed from Jess–still haven’t spent money!). I don’t remember anything from this night, other than the fact that I was an overgrown bee and kept hitting people with my “wings”, dropped my phone in my apartment parking lot and felt like complete crap the next day.
5. I’m hiding this year. Mmy house has been infested by bees (ironic, no?) and so my parents and I are turning off all the lights and hiding upstairs so little kids won’t come to our door. I was going to sit on the driveway and pass out candy, but apparently the bees can get me there too.
See? I suck at Halloween.