You should play this song while reading this post. Because who doesn’t love a good emo boy band?!
Oh, it’s just me? Ah well, more skinny jeans and bangs for me!
No, but seriously…the song is catchy. And I promise it’ll make sense at the end of the this post. And if not, then just know that it takes me about three hours to write one of these because I keep checking Facebook and Twitter like a crack addict and sometimes forget what I meant to write about and then change the subject for funsies.
So one of my favorite tidbits about myself I tell people is this: “Ugh, I LOVE Taylor Swift. If my heart could write songs, they would sound like hers.” And then I sigh loudly.
I say this a lot. To my family, friends, dog, cashier, garbage man, etc. But I have to confess something to all of you right now.
It’s all a lie. (But don’t tell Max–I think my dog really likes hearing this)
My life is nothing like hers so saying my heart would write songs like her makes about as much sense as saying I’m dating Jake Gyllenhall. Because I’m not.
One could argue that I could relate to some of her earlier work that was mostly about her crushing on guys who didn’t return the feeling, but I never cried over a boy in high school and certainly not on a guitar. Although I did like a guy named Drew in 8th grade.
One could also argue that my two-sentence paragraphs are not, infact, paragraphs.
But now I really can’t pretend like I relate to her songs because I have neither broken up with someone in December or dated John Mayer. I know, I’m totally missing out.
I’ve realized that I can’t really relate to most songs I hear. Either my life is super boring or really unique. I say we go with the latter while knowing it’s actually the former. Cool? Even worse is that I desperatly feel like I should be relating to these songs. I mean, apparently everybody else is right? How is everybody else living T-Swift’s life and not me? WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!
Maybe it’s because I take things to literally and decide I can’t relate to her until I dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless?
But it’s okay. At least I can always depend on the music industry to churn out music that I love, and more importantly that I’ve loved since I was 12.
Like Mr. “I don’t need a shirt, y’all” said in Dazed and Confused, “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.” Except less creepy, and instead of ‘high school girls’ I mean ‘Disney stars who sing/the Biebs’.
Okay, maybe that quote didn’t really work. Basically if it’s a boy band, a girl who had her own Disney Channel show or a kid with a major bang problem and six million followers on Twitter, I’m gonna
like love it.
Seriously, I’m so mainstream my own family is ashamed of me. I use to make them all listen to the NSYNC holiday album EVERY YEAR until I mysteriously lost it.
Obviously somebody stole it. I blame my brothers.
Have I lost your respect yet? If not, let me just tell you that I can’t stop listening to that song I posted above. Bye respect!
But I will say this to make me seem like less of a creeper loser: I in no way shape or form find any of these little guys attractive. I promise. The last poster I had up on my wall was of Josh Hartnett, and I took that down when I graduated high school. Again, I promise.
Infact, I stopped crushing on celebrities a while ago. My last was Shia LaBeouf–but even I couldn’t take the plethora of skinny jeans in that kid’s closet. You want to know who I absolutely adore right now?
If Taylor Swift gets to him before me, I will just die.