She’s an enabler:
Mom: Hey so your studying is going well right?
Mom: Sooo you technically could take a break and come to Macy’s with me?
Me: Why, yes I believe I can.
She stays on top of the trends:
Mom: Hey look at these! And they’re 70% off.
Me: Are those jeggings?
Mom: Yea, I think they’ll look really cute on you!
Me: You realize these will be the second pair of jeggings you will have bought me, right?
Mom: Um, no. You’re paying for these working girl.
(By the way, I did buy them and they are the most wonderful article of clothing in the world. I may never go back to regular denim again)
She can’t pass up a good deal:
Mom: Ooh look what I got at HEB!
Me: Donuts, really? Isn’t it bad enough that I bake every chance I get?
Mom: They had a special! I got these for free after buying two coffee creamers.
Me: Didn’t you just buy new coffee creamers the other day?
Me: MY DREAM IS COMING TRUE!
Me: Remember the other day when I told you I had a dream that you went out and bought like four eggnog creamers?!
Mom: Oh yea! These aren’t eggnog, but still that’s weird.
She calls me out:
Mom: Shouldn’t you be wearing a longer top with those leggings?
Me: What?! My ass is totally covered!
Mom: That Tom guy was on Oprah the other day and he was talking about this.
Me: Tom who?
Mom: You know! Tom, or Tim maybe? The fashion guy!
Me: Tim Gunn?
Mom: Yes! He said that you should wear leggings like you would tights. So like under a dress or something.
Me: Well if Tim Gunn wants to buy me black pants to wear to work than I will gladly retire the leggings.
Mom: You’re basically a fashion po-pas.
Me: A what?!
Mom: A Po-pas! Isn’t that how you say it?
Me: Oh dear lord, you mean faux-pas don’t you?
Mom: Po-pas sounds better.