Soooo remember how last time we talked I was all “I don’t need no pizza!”
I mean, not in those words because I try to speak like a normal person as often as I can. But I did mention how not eating it wasn’t that hard, right?
Well roughly 14 hours after I posted that, I was singing a different tune.
I literally woke up needing pizza. Like I seriously opened my eyes in the morning thinking about it. I probably dreamed about it too, but I rarely remember my dreams. Unless they’re really weird, but sadly me dreaming about food isn’t that odd.
So I woke up and was all “If I don’t have pizza at least once today somebody is going to get hurt.”
Luckily I had pizza dough sitting in my freezer. A couple of months ago I was on this bread and pizza crust making kick and literally spent all my time kneading dough. Eventually my parents got sick of it and threatened to kick me out if I tried to make one more carb.
Obviously a lie, but they were tired of it. So my last batch went in the freezer.
Lucky for me AND the “somebody was going to get hurt” person. Don’t know who that might have been, but my money is on kid’s who keep rollerblading down my street with no regards to incoming cars.
I mean, seriously, are parents raising their kids to be idiots these days?
Back to the pizza. Since it was all rock-like (read: frozen) I set it on the counter and went on with my busy day.
And by busy I obviously mean I got my hair cut and then watched six episodes of Dexter. Sounds lazy, but I did finish season 2 without throwing up after seeing a lot of dismembered bodies which I think is an accomplishment in itself.
Also, the timing was perfect because as soon as I finished, my dough was ready for me. Let’s make pizza!
I’m going to save y’all the whole story of me actually making the pizza because it isn’t all that exciting, but let me just say this: I am a rockstar. And let me say one more thing: You don’t need cheese to make a rockstar pizza. I speak from experience.
When I’m all old and knocking on death’s door I can only imagine I’ll look back at this time and consider this meal one of my best. And hopefully my kid’s will cherish this recipe and pass it down generation after generation.
Unless, of course, I’ve raised my children to be idiots, in which case I’m counting on one of you to take them away from me. Really, it’s in their best interest.
Future problem children aside, this whole pizza thing was exciting for me. My mom was getting a little worried that we were going to run out of meals/food to make/eat which would result in us eating the same thing over and over again. This would, of course, result in us getting bored and inevitably we would end up face-down in a pile of pork.
And by “we” I obviously just mean “me”. Pretty sure my mom has self-control, especially when it comes to pigs.
Tonight we had homemade Chinese and it was delicious.
(Not So)Fun Fact: I’m totally allergic to nuts so I can’t eat at Chinese restaurants anymore since they cook everything in peanut oil. How lame is that? Good news is I can make a mean Orange Chicken myself.
I intend on doing just that on February 1. You are all invited, of course. It’s BYOC (Bring Your Own Chopsticks).
So we survived another day of veganism in this house. And now the only things I have left to worry about are waiting for season 3 of Dexter to arrive and not running over little kids in my neighborhood.
Life is good.