Remember this line from “You’ve Got Mail”?
“The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don’t know what the hell they’re doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.”
Since I worked at Starbucks for three years (and currently work at a cafe that serves Starbucks coffee) I say this quote to myself like a hundred times a day. And if someone actually orders a tall decaf cappuccino? Well, that just makes my day.
What’s really funny about the quote is that while other people might feel a “defining sense of self” when ordering their halfcaf-venti-extra caramel-double blended-no whip-caramel light frappuccino (with a dome lid, please), half of the time it says nothing about a person.
Based on the fact that I paid to see “Never Say Never” this weekend, have the musical tastes of a preteen girl, read more food blogs than news blogs and prefer to spend my weekends baking cookies and watching Degrassi than going out, I should be drinking double chocolate chip frappuccinos by the gallon. Extra whip.
Too bad I drink regular coffee and would rather run 10 miles than drink a frappuccino.
I don’t have to be a boring a cup of coffee to drink a boring cup of coffee, right?
P.S. I hate frappuccinos and never drink them. If I could go back in time, I’d go to the meeting where somebody came up with the idea of those stupid frozen cups of diabetes and punch them in the face. Hard.
What’s your favorite coffee shop drink? I promise I won’t judge you. Well I’ll probably judge you, but I won’t let you know so it’s totally okay.