Can’t find a job, Can’t find a date

Has anyone noticed that the process of finding a job is eerily similar to that of finding a date?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

(Source)

Let’s do a little comparison action, shall we?

Career: You (read: I) know what you (I)  want. An entry-level position with a public relations/advertising agency. I’ve interned with agencies before so I know I’m a good fit and I thouroughly enjoyed all the work I did with them.

Date: You (okay fine, I) am 100 percent sure I want a tall man. My collection of heels just won’t have it any other way. Okay, I’m kidding (sort of). But, like most people, I have that “list” of traits that I know I want in a date/boyfriend. Please don’t act like you’ve never made a list of traits you want in others. Seriously, get off your high horse. You’ve done it. We all have. It’s human.

Career: When I find a job opening that sounds perfect for me, I obsessively work on my resume to make sure it will stand out from the sea of resumes they receive daily. I may not be a Harvard grad, but I was editor-in-chief of my university newspaper for three semesters, held a full-time job for a lot of my time in college and interned with two PR agencies. Impressive, no?

Date: When I meet a guy who seems like a good fit for me, I (sadly) obsessively analyze everything I do/say to make sure I stand out from the sea of girls that I am SO sure are my competition. I may not be a Victoria’s Secret  model, but I’m nice, funny and can bake a mean batch of cookies. Impressive, no?

Career: I check my e-mail a million times a day. Nothing.

Date: Voicemail, text messages, Tweets, Facebook comments. All nothing.

Career: I try not to think about it. Someday some company will look at me and think “Hey, she’s perfect for us! Hired!” Until then, I can enjoy my post-grad life and do things I probably couldn’t do if I had a full-time job.

Date: I’m pretty sure someday some guy will look at me and thing “Eh, she’s cool. Date!” Until then, I can enjoy all the things I like to do by myself. Like eat an entire bag of gummy bears while forcing my dog to hang out with me.

Career: How soon can I follow-up after sending in my resume?

Date: How many texts is too many?

Career: When I least expect it (read: forgot that I even applied to the job) I hear back. Then I get overly excited and think I’m going to have a panic attack.

Date: When I least expect it (read: when I’ve decided that being the single old lady with 18 dogs won’t be so bad) I hear from man of the moment. Then I get overly excited and think I’m going to have a panic attack.

Career: First interview. Must look professional.

Date: First date. Must look cute.

Career: How much should I talk about myself? Do they need to know about my love for Justin Bieber? (Answer: No)

Date: How much should I talk about myself? Do they need to know about my love for Justin Bieber? (Answer: Not yet)

See what I mean? Exactly the same!

Anybody else facing the same problems as me? Any tips? Need a shoulder to cry on?

P.S. Some details exaggerated for humors sake. For example,  I don’t really suffer from panic attacks when men text me. I do, however, eat a lot of gummy bears.

P. P.S. Really, nobody wants to join my virtual book club? Laaaame.

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4 responses to “Can’t find a job, Can’t find a date

  1. You are too funny!
    I’m catching up on blogs now..about to head over to your virtual book club post!

  2. haha hilarious. perfect analogy. virtual book club? interested! but hoping its not demanding? will check it out.

  3. A. you’re spot on on all of these and
    b. ME ME ME virtual book club pls!

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