Things Baristas won’t tell you? Actually, we tried but you refuse to listen.

As many of you know, I’ve been working at the cafe inside Barnes and Noble for a couple of months and before that I worked at Starbucks for a few years. I know the life of a barista, and even though I adore Starbucks (and other coffee shops) working there can be rough.

When I ran across this article I knew I just had to share. And by “share” I obviously mean “complain about my experiences.”

13 Things Baristas Won’t Tell You (Read this for the original article. I just pulled the main points for this post and added my own commentary. Of course. )

1. Drinking two quad-shot, 22oz, vanilla lattes every day is bad for you. So is the pumpkin loaf you have for breakfast every morning. Just saying.

2. Sometimes the owners of independent coffee/espresso carts buy cheap coffee and sell it as a respected brand. I know nothing of this, but it’s not surprising.

3. Please believe me. Listen, I get that you think I’m dumb just because I work in a coffee shop. I mean, how are you to know that I am going to college/just graduated? And you! Well you wear a suit, so I can only assume that you have a “real” job and are very smart and know everything and basically trump me in every way possible. So I suppose it makes sense that you would repeat the word “nonfat” eight times while placing your order (hey, those suits gotta fit, right?). And I mean you might as well repeat it again while I’m making the drink, juuuuust in case I decided to pour whole milk because I get the letter “N” confused with “W”. And fine, watch my hands carefully and yell if you think I brushed up against the whip cream because you DO NOT want whip. Of course, I know you don’t want whip because the cup tells me you don’t want whip, but it’s alright if you want to tell me again. HOWEVER, when I look you in the eye and say “here is your grande, nonfat, no whip, mocha” the last thing you should even think of asking me is “is it nonfat?” Seriously, believe me.

4. If you’re not at Starbucks, don’t order like you are. The main reason for this being that Starbucks likes to make up words. A caramel frappuccino did not exist before Howard Schultz allowed it to exist. See also: Vivanno, misto and marble mocha macchiatto.

5. You are the reason for the wait. Yes, you with the cell phone who had 10 minutes to decide what you wanted but were too busy telling your BFF about your new man (who is so sweet) to look at the menu. You and your “do I want a frappuccino or a white mocha?” are the reason for the wait. Oh, you really wanted a vanilla latte? I thought so.

6. Be nice. Not just to us. To everybody. Just be nice all the time. If you never go to coffee shops but happen to be reading this anyway, please take note of this one. I’m tired of rude people. I’m tired of annoying people. I’m tired of people who think they’re better than others. The only people I’m not tired of are the genuinely nice people. The ones who I know are nice to everybody they meet, not just me. Incidentally, these are the people who get free drinks.

7. Just because they’re vegan doesn’t mean our cakes are good for you. Sorry.

8. Yes, I went to school for this. I wouldn’t really call it “school”, but I do know what I’m talking about. And if I don’t, I will still help you to the best of my ability. I promise.

9. There is an art to pulling a perfect shot of espresso. And it takes more than half a second. So stop with the foot tapping already!

10. Tip. It’s nice. I won’t be mad if you don’t, but it’s nice.

11. A bigger cup doesn’t mean more coffee espresso. Hold on to your hats kids, this ones a doozy. A bigger cup really just means more syrup, milk and whip cream. And money. So when you come in all sad and tired because your life is SO hard and the only thing getting you through is the idea of a mocha don’t laugh and say “obviously I need a venti” when I ask you what size you want. Grandes and ventis have the exact same amount of espresso in them. So jokes on you because you could have saved yourself a few cents (and calories) had you gotten the smaller size. Another thing: if you’re really THAT tired you should just order a brewed coffee. It has more caffeine and makes you less annoying to us.

12. Latte art isn’t merely decorative. I know nothing of this. I can barely get all the milk in the cup….I’m far from latte art.

13. A real macchiato has just a stain of milk foam and no sugar. Weird, right? If caramel macchiatos are your drink, try to stay away from the cafes in Italy. They don’t have what you’re looking for.

 

Kitchen Confessions

1. The kitchen is my happy place. And I know that’s such a cliche thing to say, but let’s face it, I’m kind of a walking cliche. So there. And to be honest, I’m pretty much happy all the time, so the kitchen is really just another place for me to be happy, but “happy place” sounds cuter and less “ugh she’s so damn happy all the time”.

2. Sometimes while I’m cooking I come up with a script in my head of what I would say if I had my own cooking show. And just so you know, in my head I’m totally charasmatic, clever and not the least bit annoying. I also don’t say EVOO or Ri-COAT-ta.

3. For the most part I follow recipes when it comes to baking. At least the measurment parts. I do have a tendency to throw chocolate into everything though. Blame it on my momma, I watched her do it for years and now it just seems natural.

(Source)

4. With that said, if you ever ask me for a recipe based on a savory dish I will look at you sheepishly and try to avoid the question. Because I made the recipe up. In my head. Even if it’s the 74957 time I’ve made it, I still couldn’t tell you how much of what went in it. Hell, I probably couldn’t tell you all the ingredients in general.

5. If you saw our spice cabinet you’d understand why. I’m more of a “grab and shake” (haha) type of cook, not a “look at bottle, decide if it will go with food, measure out spice and gingerly stir it in.”

6. Remember when I told you I was entering that Food Network Magazine “cook with honey” contest? Well, I HAD to measure everything, write it down, make it again, tweak it, write it down again. Such drama, all of which made me realize I don’t really like honey that much. Whoops. Although, my honey-chipotle hummus was pretty legit.

7. So I guess I could never have my own cooking show, because that would require me to remember all the ingredients and measurements. This would stress me out. And stress is not a cute look for me. And I HAVE to look cute on TV. Duh.

8. I complain about small kitchens because I feel like, as someone who truly enjoys cooking and baking, I have to. But in all honesty, I think small kitchens are charming and I kind of like cooking in them. Especially while I’m single. A big kitchen + nobody to love = Saaaaad. Sure, a big counter is nice when rolling out pie dough, but will a big counter hug you when you’re sad. No! It’ll probably be in your way and cause you to drop a pan of freshly baked cookies. UGH.

9. I’m still a drama queen in the kitchen. Why people let me near gas stoves and sharp knives, I have no idea.

10. I made these scones for my aunt the other day. I watched her eat three, which is more than I’ve ever seen her eat in one sitting. This made me immensely happy.

Shopping Confessions

Happy Monday friends! It’s “Confession Week” over here at Anywho.

What’s that, you ask? Well, every day this week I’ll be posting things about me that people don’t know.

Except, my life is kind of like an open book, so if you know me at all you probably know some of these already.

Either way, it’ll be fun 🙂

Shopping Confessions

1. I prefer shopping alone. You’ll find out why within the next nine statements.

2. When it comes to clothes shopping, I turn slightly psychotic. I start grabbing whatever I want and then walk around the store fighting with myself (in my head, of course. I’m not THAT crazy) because there is a 95 percent chance I don’t need anything of what I picked up.

3. I’m even worse when it comes to shoes. Do I need another pair of black heels? Duh, of course I do. I should probably get them in red too, just in case.

4. I have this rule that if I find something I like, but don’t need, I have to put it back. If I’m still thinking about it days later, than I go back to get it. I end up making a lot of trips to Target due to this silly rule.

5. I’m convinced that the book Gods hate me. Whenever I need a book (like for VBC!) I can never find it, although I do manage to find another book that I’ve been “meaning to read”. And by “meaning to read”, I obviously mean “put on bookshelf for years before I remember it’s there.”

6. You’d think my love of to-do lists would carry over into making grocery shopping lists. But you’d be wrong. This is why I always forget something, and why I’m at HEB at least every other day.

7. Speaking of HEB, I do always walk out of there with at least one of two things: A magazine or new make-up. I have a major problem.

8. This is how I pick out nail polishes:

Guess which one I bought? None of them. Managed to convince myself that $3.79 was too much to spend on “Craving Coral”, and bought People StyleWatch instead.

9. I go to the store too much. This is how I ended up with $1.00 nail polish the day after I had decided to not buy any.

10. Yet, I’m still craving coral. I think I need to go back.

Can’t find a job, Can’t find a date

Has anyone noticed that the process of finding a job is eerily similar to that of finding a date?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

(Source)

Let’s do a little comparison action, shall we?

Career: You (read: I) know what you (I)  want. An entry-level position with a public relations/advertising agency. I’ve interned with agencies before so I know I’m a good fit and I thouroughly enjoyed all the work I did with them.

Date: You (okay fine, I) am 100 percent sure I want a tall man. My collection of heels just won’t have it any other way. Okay, I’m kidding (sort of). But, like most people, I have that “list” of traits that I know I want in a date/boyfriend. Please don’t act like you’ve never made a list of traits you want in others. Seriously, get off your high horse. You’ve done it. We all have. It’s human.

Career: When I find a job opening that sounds perfect for me, I obsessively work on my resume to make sure it will stand out from the sea of resumes they receive daily. I may not be a Harvard grad, but I was editor-in-chief of my university newspaper for three semesters, held a full-time job for a lot of my time in college and interned with two PR agencies. Impressive, no?

Date: When I meet a guy who seems like a good fit for me, I (sadly) obsessively analyze everything I do/say to make sure I stand out from the sea of girls that I am SO sure are my competition. I may not be a Victoria’s Secret  model, but I’m nice, funny and can bake a mean batch of cookies. Impressive, no?

Career: I check my e-mail a million times a day. Nothing.

Date: Voicemail, text messages, Tweets, Facebook comments. All nothing.

Career: I try not to think about it. Someday some company will look at me and think “Hey, she’s perfect for us! Hired!” Until then, I can enjoy my post-grad life and do things I probably couldn’t do if I had a full-time job.

Date: I’m pretty sure someday some guy will look at me and thing “Eh, she’s cool. Date!” Until then, I can enjoy all the things I like to do by myself. Like eat an entire bag of gummy bears while forcing my dog to hang out with me.

Career: How soon can I follow-up after sending in my resume?

Date: How many texts is too many?

Career: When I least expect it (read: forgot that I even applied to the job) I hear back. Then I get overly excited and think I’m going to have a panic attack.

Date: When I least expect it (read: when I’ve decided that being the single old lady with 18 dogs won’t be so bad) I hear from man of the moment. Then I get overly excited and think I’m going to have a panic attack.

Career: First interview. Must look professional.

Date: First date. Must look cute.

Career: How much should I talk about myself? Do they need to know about my love for Justin Bieber? (Answer: No)

Date: How much should I talk about myself? Do they need to know about my love for Justin Bieber? (Answer: Not yet)

See what I mean? Exactly the same!

Anybody else facing the same problems as me? Any tips? Need a shoulder to cry on?

P.S. Some details exaggerated for humors sake. For example,  I don’t really suffer from panic attacks when men text me. I do, however, eat a lot of gummy bears.

P. P.S. Really, nobody wants to join my virtual book club? Laaaame.

Gym Confessions

1. Sometimes the only reason I go to the gym is so I can wear all the workout clothes I insist on buying. Mainly because they’re comfortable and provide another excuse for me to not wear real pants.

2. I hate looking at myself when I’m working out and will go out of my way to find a machine that is not near a mirror. The only thing worse than feeling like you’re going to throw up on a treadmill is looking over and realizing you look like you’re going to throw up on a treadmill.

3. I listen to Pandora while at the gym because my iPod hates me. However, in the past month I’ve become kind of picky about what machines get what stations. Ready for this?

• Treadmill-Justin Bieber station

• Elliptical-Lil Wayne station

• Bike-Taylor Swift station

I haven’t quite figured out why this works, but I’m sticking to it for now. However, if I’m using the weight machines, I can listen to whatever. I’m too focused on not looking like a fool in front of the cute trainers to care what I’m listening to.

4. I steal glances at the people around me to see what speed and/or level they’re on. Then I try to match it. I’d be completely screwed if a professional athlete wandered onto the treadmill next to me.

5. I prefer to workout in the evening, around 6. This is because the most people are there at that time and I’m more motivated to work harder.

6. Also, the cute trainers are all there around that time. I’m horrible.

7. If I have to close at work, I go in the morning. A lot of elderly people workout at that time and I’m seriously convinced they’re all trying to show me up.

8. If I’m going to watch TV while at the gym, it has to be ESPN or some sort of game. Once (a million years ago) I stayed at the gym for over three hours because I was watching a tennis match and refused to leave until it was finished.

9. Oh wait, I lied. Sometimes I watch the food network if the person in front of me has it on their little mini treadmill-TV.

10. I smile at everybody who walks past me, and rarely get a smile back. Sorry, I didn’t know I was required to be rude at the gym. Do bitch classes come included in my monthly payment?

Bonus fun fact: I can’t text and ellipticize (not a word, I know) at the same time because once I fell off the machine doing so. No joke.

 

It's true...

(Source)

ABC’s of me!

Hi friends! Found this little thing going around the blogosphere, and since I’m nothing if not a follower, I decided to do it!

Also, I have nothing to write about now. Unless you want me to talk about looking for jobs, coffee and my ever-growing love for The Biebs, this is all you get.

Age: 23 (almost 24). But really? I’m basically 12. Sorry.

Bed size: Queen

Chore disliked: Unloading the dishwasher. I don’t mind loading it, but I hate unloading.

Dogs: Max!

It must be tiring to be so cute, huh?

Essential start to day: Coffee and cuddling with that lovebug^

Favorite color: Don’t think I really have one, but I told my niece that it was blue yesterday, so I should probably stick with that.

Gold or Silver: I prefer silver, but I need to jump on the gold bandwagon because all the family jewelery I will inherit is gold. It’s how we Indians do.

Height: 5’7”. My mom likes to tell me that I could have been a model if I was 5’8” and that the reason I’m  not is because I didn’t drink enough milk when I was younger. I mean, obviously, that’s the ONLY reason why I’m not walking the runway right now.

Instruments played: Clarinet for one month. Piano for like five months. I wish I played the guitar, but knowing me I would have given that up to. I’m a total winner.

Job title: Barista. I’d like that to change soon, thanks.

Kids: Max is enough, thanks.

Live: Austin, Texas. Willing to relocate (wink wink employers looking for new PR talent!).

Mom’s name: Bestmomever, aka Pam.

Nicknames: Mans, Manseen, Mansu, Rani (means Princess/Queen), Babe, Sweetheart, Puppy (mom calls me that sometimes, weird?)

Overnight hospital stay: Um, maybe when I broke my arm the first time.

Pet peeve: When the bottom of my pants get wet. Ugh. Also people who sniffle and refuse to blow their nose (mainly while sitting in class). I get that you have allergies, but please get it together.

Quote from movie: “Yeah. I would have asked for your number, and I wouldn’t have been able to wait twenty-four hours before calling you and saying, “Hey, how about… oh, how about some coffee or, you know, drinks or dinner or a movie… for as long as we both shall live?” (You’ve Got Mail)

Righty or Lefty: Righty!

Siblings: Two older brothers

Time I wake up: 8ish? Unless I have to open, in which case I have to get up at 6:30.

Underwear: What about it? Yes, I wear it.

Vegetables I don’t like: Mushrooms, eggplant and okra.

What makes me run late: What an odd question. Not knowing what to wear would make me run late, or not wanting to get out of my bathrobe could also be the culprit. OR it could be the time it takes me to decide which of my six mascaras to use for the day. OR if I’m watching Oprah and just can’t leave. Also, I’m actually never late for anything but thanks for asking.

X-rays: Dental and broken arms.

Yummy food I make: Most of my baked goods are pretty legit. And pasta, I’m good with carbs.

Zoo animals (favorite): Anything fluffy. Or giraffes, I love awkwardly tall animals (and men!).

 

Love.

(Source)

I know I’m about a million years too late, but I have a list of my favorite love songs for y’all. I meant to do this on Valentine’s Day, but I’m dumb and totally forgot.

Also, for being single I still managed to have a pretty kick ass Valentine’s Day. I am currently elbow deep in chocolate (thanks mom and Crystal!) and have a beautiful full bottle of vodka (thanks Dad!). I can’t wait to see what I get when I actually have a boyfriend!

I kid. I kid.

Oh and before I get to that list, can we just all agree to stop referring to Feb. 14 as Single Awareness Day? I mean, really. How ridiculous. If we’re being perfectly honest, wouldn’t every day be ‘single awareness day’? It’s not like I don’t know I’m single on March 7. Valentine’s Day does not bring the singleness out in us. Being single does.

Sigh. Moving on. I adore love songs. They’re just too sweet. So, grab a glass of wine, perhaps some chocolate (if you need some, I have about 10 pounds of it) and enjoy.

I had heard this song before, but I fell in love with it when Katy performed it at the Grammys. I’m a sucker for wedding footage.

Ugh, this song. I just love it. Plus I saw them sing this live back when I was an emo kid for a hot second. So that was cool.

Michael Buble. That is all.

I would not be against someone singing this song to me. Just saying.

You didn’t think I was going to NOT put an NSYNC song on here, did you? Silly. Also, how sexy is JC Chasez? Yummy.

Celine. Yes please.

I mean, duh. You guys should hear me try and sing this song. Ridiculous.

These aren’t in any particular order, but if I had to choose this song is probably my second favorite love song of all time. It never fails to make me happy.

So, what’s my number one you ask? Well seeing as how this list is full of mainstream acts (it’s a wonder Bieber didn’t make it in) you’ve probably guessed that my favorite love song is from….

Frank Sinatra? Yup, you guys I LOVE this song. Like, if someone held a gun to my head and made me pick the song that I want to dance to at my wedding, it would be this one.

Not that someone would have to put a gun to my head to make me decide. It’s obviously already done.

Gosh, I hope Mr. Mansee doesn’t mind.

What’s your favorite love song?

Balancing Act

No, I’m not talking about me walking around in four inch heels. Although that is one balancing act I’m proud of…

One of my favorite bloggers SnackFace sent out a little “challenge” to all her faithful readers to write a post about what balance means in their life. Hers are all classy and wonderful, mine are not. Hopefully somebody will read this and agree with at least one of mine, thus proving that I am not the only weirdo in this world.

Balance in my life means…

• Spending $85 on a haircut and $7 on a pair of shoes.

• Wearing ridiculous amounts of eye make-up and “finishing the look” with lipsmackers.

• Eating oatmeal for breakfast and gummy bears for dinner.

• Doing a hardcore weights session at the gym and then taking a leisurely walk on the treadmill.

• Having a mild obsession with both George Clooney and Justin Bieber.

Does this mean I'm one of fajillion?

• Studying for college finals while listening to Miley Cyrus.

• Spending one day doing nothing but watching mindless TV and working two jobs the next day.

• Going out on the town on Dec. 30 for my best friend’s birthday and staying in and watching a movie on Dec. 31 for New Years.

• Eating eggs and bacon hours before starting a month-long vegan “diet”.

• Applying for jobs in New York City and San Francisco one day, and Austin and Houston the next.

• Watching the Food Network on TV while reading the news online.

• Drinking nothing but coffee in the morning and nothing buy Sugar-Cookie tea at night.

The other liquid crack

• Wearing leggings at work and jeggings at home.

• Going to Target and buying nothing but workout clothes and baking supplies.

• Having a bookshelf filled with Chuck Palahniuk, Jen Lancaster and Nicholas Sparks.

She kills me!

And last but not least..

• Being completely in love with my life while having a ridiculous need for change.

What does your balance look like? Please tell me somebody else eats candy for dinner!

Driving by the numbers

Source

Today marks the last time I will be driving to SA for school. The last time I’ll have to sit in rush hour traffic and hate my life. The last time I will have to wonder if the guy next to me is going to cut me off (he probably is). From August 26 to now, it’s been quite the ride (ha). So in honor of this momentous occasion, I bring you this post.

Driving by the Numbers (kinda)

Trips to and from SA: 27

Miles driven: Over 4,000

Hours spent in car: 54 (kill me)

Money spent on gas:$1,000,000

Near death experiences: 18

Actual near death experiences: 2

Honest number of near death experiences: 0

Times I thought I had a flat tire: ~10

Actual flat tires: 1

Times I wished cars could fly: o. That’s too scary!

Times declared “I’m getting a job in a big city so I don’t have to drive!”: Countless

Coffee consumed in car: Gallons

Time coffee spilled on pants/leggings: ~5 (ouch)

Times leggings were worn because “they are more comfortable to drive in”: Once a week

Times I wanted to stop and shop at the outlets (for new leggings, of course): 27

Answers to radio show questions screamed out loud: At least one per drive

Times I heard “Teenage Dream”: 384930

Times I wanted to blow my brains out when hearing “Teenage Dream”: 384928

(^Ditto for “California Gurls”, “Dynamite” and “You Belong With Me”)

“Bedrock” lyrics memorzied: ALL OF THEM (seriously, quiz me)

Times Glee soundtrack was listened to: ~15

Times I thought I had Whitney Houston-like lung capacity: A lot

Times I did have Whitney Houston-like lung capacity: 0

Times I still think I should try out for American Idol: More than I should

Times Justin Bieber came on the radio: Not enough!

Times “Everybody” by BSB was played (by me): Twice a day since the AMA’s. No joke.

Times I was judged by other drivers: More than I care to admit (although they can suck it)

I suck at Halloween

Source

Reasons why I suck at Halloween:

1. I don’t do costumes. From the time I was a baby until about 13, I did the exact same thing every year for Halloween. I put on an Indian dress and called myself an Indian princess. Even better? My sweet mother use to make up characters for me to tell people who I “was”  and accompanying stories to go with them. This was especially useful for when I  was dressing up for school and we had to go around and say what we were.

Example:

Teacher: Oh Mansee, you look pretty! Tell everybody who you are!

Me: My costume is of an Indian princess named Madhuri. According to an Indian fairytale, she created the world.

Teacher: Well, isn’t that interesting!

P.S. Madhuri is the name of an actress and she most definitly did not create the world.

It was easier while trick or treating though, as I could just yell “Indian princess!!” and then run away when somebody asked.

2. I got a little burned out at a young age. Instead of everybody going trick or treating the same night (on Halloween) each subdivision would have its own day, so that meant we could go trick or treating multiple times every year. And since my parents are crazy (and the fact that they never had to spend any money on a costume for me), they actually let me get away with that. This caused two problems:

• I grew up in Ohio. It was cold. I always got sick in the beginning of November. Coincidence? Nope.
• The amount of candy was sick. Literally, just sick. Speaking of candy…

3. I love sugar-but not in candy form. But if I’m going to make myself ill off it, I want it to be beat with eggs and flour, poured into a pan, baked and covered in chocolate. In other words, I want a cake. Not a miniature Snickers.

4. I  tried to be good at Halloween once. A couple of years ago I decided I wanted to be like a real college student with a real social life  and went to a real Halloween party and wore a real costume (borrowed from Jess–still haven’t spent money!). I don’t remember anything from this night, other than the fact that I was an overgrown bee and kept hitting people with my “wings”, dropped my phone in my apartment parking lot and felt like complete crap the next day.

5. I’m hiding this year. Mmy house has been infested by bees (ironic, no?) and so my parents and I are turning off all the lights and hiding upstairs so little kids won’t come to our door. I was going to sit on the driveway and pass out candy, but apparently the bees can get me there too.

See? I suck at Halloween.

Boo.